What if

IWhat if work is too busy today?

What if I can't go to meeting I want tonight?

What if I can't pay the rent this month?

What if I can't go to Ocean City next year?

What if the child I get five years from now has a learning disability?

What if I have cancer?

In the Living Sober book, there's a good passage on "The If Trap." This mainly talks about what if's in the context of drinking.

Early in the morning though, sometimes my mind works like this, even without the alcohol. Big what if's...little what if's...

And one of the funny things is, I don't even have a consequence usually. These are tricks my addict brain plays on me so that I will feel overwhelmed. My disease LOVES me in that space. Why? So I can drink.

Funnier, if I kill myself (by drinking), I'll never find out.

What if.

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Time

Some of the first things I heard about time in AA:

Time doesn't mean anything.

Time moves slower in early sobriety.

Listen to old timers.

Time takes time.

One thing I do know, is that as I have better cultivated the ability to manage my time in AA, the rest of my life has gotten easier to organize. My sponsor taught me this.

If I am late to meetings all the time, or leaving early all the time, the same thing happens in the rest of my life. I'm late to work, and I can't sit still.

The more I prioritize AA, the easier it becomes for me to prioritize everything else.

As AA slips away, so does my life.

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