I drove and picked up a newcomer yesterday after someone from my new home group gave me a car to drive around.
The newcomer, I'll call him "Freddie" was in the toils of a rehab romance. At this point, I have seen this several times over. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy meets boy, girl meets girl, and the priority that sobriety needs to survive goes out the window.
Freddie, like me, also recently moved here. For a girl he met in treatment a few weeks ago. He's in love with her because when they first met, she said he could come here and live with her.
The first time my sponsor asked me what the definition of love was, I had no clue. It was always centered around what the other person was doing for me. I've now come to understand that my definition of love is caring for someone else and asking nothing in return.
My sponsor loves me, I love my sponsees. Through these relationships I have learned to have a relationship with my partner, and with other people that I could never have before.
Freddie kept repeating that he didn't understande why the girl could keep saying that she loved him but could't be around him after his relapse. Likely, she has a good sponsor telling her to stay away.
My relationships have come a long way from getting my selfish sex needs met.
Today I am grateful for the ability to love.
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